Kids—and spouses, apparently—still say the darnedest things. Part-1

All your funny stories related to your children, your ex, coparenting, child support or anything else you want to share
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otisjane
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2021 2:34 am

As that paragon of parenthood Homer Simpson once told his brood, "Recollect, supposedly, we're a pleasant, typical family." Then again, we've never met an ordinary family. In view of that, we welcomed perusers to share comical anecdotes about their friends and relatives with the opportunity to win a $500 thousand prize. Subsequent to filtering through the numerous accounts, we can genuinely say every family is particularly whimsical.

THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER:

For the second week straight, my child and I were the ones in particular who displayed for his soccer group's training. Disappointed, I advised him, "Kindly tell your mentor that we continue to come for training however nobody is ever here."

My child feigned exacerbation and said, "He'll simply reveal to me exactly the same thing he did previously."

"Which was?"

"That training is currently on Wednesdays, not Tuesdays."

Annette Olsen, Layton, Utah

Good MENTIONS

Bleeding Awful

At the point when my five-year-old girl caught an infection, I took her to the specialist's office. Holding her hands, I clarified the miserable realities: "The specialist is presently going to draw some blood."

Tranquilly and unemotionally, she reacted, "Whose?"

Faye Hintz, Glendora, California

Hung Jury

Subsequent to painting the room dividers, my significant other arranged to return the photos. "How might I hang them?" he asked me. "Excessively high or excessively low?"

Nancy Setter, Tulsa, Oklahoma

Crapped Out

After being reminded to go through the latrine in the wake of waking, my kid was entirely unnerved: "You mean I must go potty consistently for the remainder of my life?!"

Penelope Inan, Palmdale, California

Harvard, Here I Come!

"How was your first day of school?" I asked my kindergartner.

"Fine," she said. "They need me to return tomorrow."

Shirley Sprague, Concord, California

The Gutter Truth

Despite the fact that my girl wasn't a very remarkable bowler, when her companion's bowling crew was down a player, my girl consented to fill in. "So how'd you do?" I asked a couple of days after the fact.

She ran through her scores: "One sixty, one 67, and one 55."

"Amazing! That is incredible."

"No! One game sixty, one 67, one 55."

Ruth Saarela, Garden City, Michigan

Little Einstein

We don't know how it occurred, but rather my three-year-old nephew James stalled his tricycle out under another bike's tire and stuff instrument. My kid, Rowan, watched him calmly and meticulously remove the trike, then, at that point pivoted to us and pronounced, "He's a virtuoso!"

B. O., Montclair, New Jersey

We should Rat Out Grandma

During Thanksgiving supper, my young niece Mackenzie began tinkering with my dad's wedding ring. Father said, "That won't ever fallen off. Do you know why? Since I love your nana."

That is when Mackenzie educated him, "Nana takes hers off."

Elizabeth Veldboom, New Braunfels, Texas
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